Starburst

It is a well known fact that I am a candy-monger. I could horde candy until pigs fly. It's a gift, really. It makes it a tricky situation because we always seem to have candy in our apartment. Don has an unusually large sweet-tooth. And my sister, Aubrey, who has deprived herself for nearly a decade due to her running career, has an even larger one. So whenever she comes over to my apartment, and sees some candy, it's always a temptation. I discovered that to her it's a deadly game to eat candy in my house. Like a form of Russian Roulette. To quote her verbatim,
"Whenever Don buys candy, you know it will be okay...
...if Erin has candy it was probably found with the Dead Sea Scrolls."
Now, by itself, this comment isn't quite as funny. But, the fact that she said this while chewing madly on a Starburst for the past five minutes made it pretty funny. The fact that Ashley had given it to her, and then started doing a sadistic happy dance in the background made it even funnier. And the realization that I had no idea where the mystery petrified Starburst came from made it...priceless. As Aubrey observed after her chewing frenzy, "It's like giving a dog peanut butter."
I'll slowly stop candy addicts, one fossilized Starburst at a time...